We here at Koku Gamer enjoy a good session of gaming, it’s the reason we’re here writing these articles for you today. Games are a big part of our life and are a great way to unwind and relax. A lot of the world wide population game, it is an industry that strives in times of hardship.
However as with any hobby or interest there are some that go that little extra; and it is usually their template upon which stereotypes are based on. Someone who goes to the gym everyday is usually envisioned as a wanna be Arnold Schwarzenegger, High School jocks are usually as labeled muscle bound meat heads and gamers are usually stereotyped as nerdy guys with glasses that stay at home and do nothing but play video games.
I game a lot, and if that’s the case then I consider myself a nerd. So here are some of the signs I found in my fellow hardcore brethren; from here on out I refuse to call them nerds. I also offer a solution should the gamer feel the need to change his ways.
1. Pale Skin
It’s a beautiful, sunny warm day. Its 27 degrees Celsius and there isn’t a cloud to be seen anywhere. The sky is a wonderful shade of blue with a slight breeze; this is the perfect opportunity to play video games. Yes the hardcore gamer walks outside, admires the sun and then walks straight back inside to play his favourite game on his preferred platform of choice.
Instead of enjoying one of the marvels of nature, a beautiful sunny day, the gamer prefers to stay inside and bask in the ambiance of his HDTV. The lack of sun means a pale, pasty look as opposed to a nice healthy glow. This is not a healthy look; gamers need to take advantage of sunny days and enjoy them.
However there are some gamers that are naturally pale and not much can be done about that. If so then disregard this sign.
Solution: Take a walk in the park on a nice sunny day; go to the beach if it’s warm enough.
Nerd Rating: 1 out of 5
2. Abnormally Tight Shoulder Muscles
Trying to get your rank up in COD4? Have a few mates around for a round of Soul Calibur? Want to get to the end of Star Ocean 4? Whatever your take on it all gamers have encountered the several hour grind, where you are so caught up in the game you can’t seem to put it down. Our hardcore brethren encounter this grind more often than others.
The end result is tightened up shoulder muscles that wouldn’t look out of place on the Hulk. When a gamer sets a goal to complete his objective he does everything in his power to complete it, even if it means you can barely move your shoulders.
However there are those that are just naturally strong, so abnormally tight shoulder muscles may be a side effect of copious amounts of work as opposed to copious amounts of gaming.
Solution: Go to a masseuse.
Nerd Rating: 1 out of 5
3. You Still Own Every Console You Ever Owned.
Friends come around for a visit, you’re sitting in the lounge room with them and they start reminiscing, talking about the good old days of Duck Hunt and Alex The Kidd. Much to your friends surprise you then pullout both the Nintendo Entertainment System and The Sega Master System, both still in mint condition. Even more shocking is the fact that you also own all the various games you were mentioning before.
Not willing to depart with your beloved consoles you keep them as souvenirs and mementos of some of the most memorable moments of your life. When no one else is around you still hook up the old systems and play them. Unfortunately no one really plays old consoles anymore; current generation consoles have more than enough old school games to keep the gamer occupied. In the eyes of the general public NES and Master System aren’t cool anymore. They haven’t been cool since the Super Nintendo and Genesis came out.
Solution: Hide them in a trunk and keep them hidden from view, permanently. Or sell them.
Nerd Rating: 3 out of 5
4. You Own Collectible Toys Of Gaming Heroes.
As a kid you worshiped shows like Transformers, TMNT, GI Joe, Voltron etc. Your parents then bought you toys of your favourite TV characters and you spent countless hours playing with them. It’s a normal facet of growing up; kids love toys.
15 years have passed away. You still live at home with your parents and you still buy toys; but this time they are characters from the video games you play. Master Chief sits proudly upon your mantle piece, along with other figures such as Marcus Fenix, Cole Train, Solid Snake and so on. This could almost be considered the ultimate sign of a hardcore gamer. Do you own these toys because you felt a connection with the characters as you played the game? Or is it because you still enjoy playing with them as toys? It could also be because that they will be worth a pretty sum of money in the future. The chances are when people see these toys in your house you have already been labelled by them.
Solution: Refer to number 3.
Nerd Rating: 4 out of 5
5. Your Dream Girl Is Chun-Li.
Ok nothing more really needs to be said about this one. However this doesn’t apply to just Chun Li; if you find yourself desiring pixelated beauties then you are clearly spending a lot, if not too much, of your time gaming. If you’re gaming 24/7 then video games become your surrounding; slowly but surely you are becoming one with your video games.
While the current generation of consoles and games offer much more realistic textures and movements you can’t escape this one inevitable fact; you have more of a chance getting a date with Jessica Alba or Rhona Mitra than you do of getting one with Chun Li. It doesn’t matter how attractive or interactive these characters become; they will always be stuck in your TV screen.
Solution: Get a girlfriend, now. If you have one then spend more time with her, she can offer you a lot more than Chun Li could.
Nerd Rating: 5 out of 5
Please remember that this was written as a fun article, actual scientific studies weren’t carried out to come to these conclusions. Read it, have a laugh and enjoy. Gaming is about fun, so keep it fun.
Which one on the list do you posses? What other signs of a gaming nerd would you include? Please share by commenting below. No registration required.